Danger Is A Relative Thing
by tielan
Summary: And Sheppard thinks the Pegasus galaxy is a dangerous place? [teamfic]


**Danger Is A Relative Thing**

"You know, if I wanted to breathe in the exhaust fumes of the collective traffic of the Beltway, I'd have settled down in the District, not in Atlantis."

Ronon ignored his team-mate's snivelling in favour of watching the world go by through the open window of the 'SUV'. The scientist was in a bad mood after Teyla had managed to ride the shotgun...or something that sounded like that. Personally, Ronon thought that 'riding the shotgun' sounded very much like the kind of activities that the Atlanteans tended to get cagey and go pink about, at least in public; in private was quite a different matter. Apparently, on Earth, it just meant getting to ride in the front passenger seat.

Sheppard huffed from his position in the driver's seat. "McKay, if you don't shut up, Ronon's going to kick you out of the car and you can _walk_ to the White House."

"Hey, the President asked to see me as well as Teyla and Ronon," McKay snapped.

"And you offered to come along on the city tour instead of going straight to the White House with Elizabeth and Beckett," Sheppard said, through teeth that weren't quite clenched.

"I thought it would be better than them glaring at me," sulked McKay.

Teyla shifted in the front seat, turning her head far enough to glance back at the sulking man. "Clearly, you were wrong." Her words were patient, but pointed - a sure sign that she was annoyed.

Still, this was McKay. He usually had a comeback. "There's always a first time."

"Well, we're about to get off the Beltway anyway," Sheppard noted as he glanced out the window and began directing the car to the right, towards one of the ramps that led down from the road.

Ronon was used to transport vehicles, and not just from his experiences with the Atlantis 'jumpers and the Wraith ships. The transporters on Sateda weren't as noisy or as dirty as cars, though, and had been more like what Sheppard and McKay referred to as 'public transport' than individual transport units.

Looking out at the city and the sky, Ronon felt something squirm in his belly. This planet wasn't anything like Sateda, but he felt a longing for his ruined homeworld all the same.

"Where is this?" Teyla was asking.

"The way to the naval base," Sheppard said. "Caldwell asked me to play messenger boy while we were in the area - he's got some files that need hand-delivery to one of the commanders there."

"Wouldn't something like that be classified?" Ronon asked.

Sheppard glanced at him in the mirror that was hung in the middle of the car front - to see the back with, or so McKay had explained. "Which is why we're hand-delivering it."

Ronon looked out the window. The Earth military organisations intrigued him - earth-, sea-, and air-based, aligned by country, each with their own jurisdiction and bureaucracy, each with their own command structures, ranks, and attitudes. Atlantis showed a tiny microcosm of that in Sheppard, the marines, and some of the specialists from other countries; and Ronon had taken the time to familiarise himself with all of it, curious about this planet that had produced men like Sheppard, McKay and Beckett, and women like Weir.

If there was a military base here, then it was planted in the middle of what looked, to Ronon's eyes, like tenements. Dingy, faded buildings, put up and uncared for, housing the poor and uninspired. A glance out the window showed people watching them drive past with flat eyes that made something inside him tense.

Yeah, he remembered this.

"So what exactly are these documents?" McKay asked, leaning forward in his seat. "And why do they have to be hand-delivered?"

Sheppard slowed the car down to stop at an intersection. "That's classified."

"I've got clearance!"

"Not as much as you need for this," said Sheppard with more than a hint of smugness. From behind the driver's seat, Ronon couldn't quite see the look Sheppard gave their team-mate. He _could_ see Teyla's expression though - halfway between amused and exasperated. And Sheppard told _Ronon_ not to tease McKay.

The noise of his door being yanked open surprised him, although not as much as the sight of the man whose beady eyes blinked at him once, before the thin mouth opened, paused, shut, opened again, and the man bellowed, "Out of the car!"

Ronon regarded the wild-eyed man pointing a gun at him with more than a little surprise, even as he heard the other doors around the car open. "Get out of the car and nobody gets hurt!"

He was palming a knife even as Teyla's head jerked - the guy at her door was trying to drag her out of the car. The man was big and Teyla was small, but hardly helpless. Ronon heard the crack of someone's bones breaking as leverage force was applied, and someone - not Teyla - yelped in pain. Somewhere outside, a gun clattered on the road. The man at Rodney's door fell back, screaming at the knife Ronon had aimed for his shoulder. It was presently sticking through his tattooed wrist - dramatic.

Sheppard seemed to be dealing with his assailant - the military man had some impressive moves when he chose to show them off - so Ronon pulled his gun from its holster and coolly shot the man standing at his door. It helped that the man was so stunned by the various demises of his team-mates that his finger was frozen on the trigger. Lucky for the guy, Ronon's gun was set to stun rather than kill.

Not that Ronon would have objected to killing the man, but things were a bit different on Earth than on Pegasus.

Teyla hopped back into the car and slammed her door. "I suggest you drive on," she said, a little breathless.

"Driving on," Sheppard said, slamming his own door closed.

Ronon reversed the gun, pointed it at the guy still howling outside McKay's window, and stunned him, too. "McKay, shut the door."

Woodenly, McKay shut the door. He seemed shocked rather than injured, his blue eyes wide and slightly alarmed. The engine revved, and the car leapt into motion, leaving behind their assailants.

Sheppard glanced at them in the mirror again. "Everyone okay?" He flicked the safety catch and deposited the gun in one of the front compartments.

"I'm fine." Ronon checked McKay. "He's still breathing."

"Hyperventilating?"

Ronon regarded their team-mate, while Teyla turned around in her seat, arching a brow at Ronon's drawn weapon before turning to regard McKay. "He is in shock."

"I'm fine," McKay said, waving away her concern. "We just got carjacked!"

"No," said Sheppard with careful emphasis, "someone _tried_ to carjack us." There was a pause, before the other man added, almost gleefully, "And we kicked their asses."

His ebullience was infectious. Ronon grinned, and even Teyla's mouth twitched.

"I am guessing that carjackings are not usually so...pleasant for those whose cars are being...jacked?"

Sheppard turned a cough into a snort of laughter. "Teyla, you're the only person in two galaxies who'd use the world 'pleasant' to describe a carjacking. And they're basically stealing the car, not...jacking it."

There was a moment of silence before McKay spoke. "Sheppard, don't even go there."

"I didn't say anything."

"You were going to." McKay said, sour as the citrus he hated. The interlude seemed to have loosened his tongue even further. "And Teyla, carjackings end up with one group of people without transport in a questionable part of town, and one car stolen by a bunch of hooligans who drive it all over the city before leaving the car burned out in _another_ questionable part of town."

"Stealing."

"Yep."

"Will there be trouble over our treatment of those men?"

Sheppard's head turned to regard her. "It's not likely. I'll have a word with one of the security personnel at the naval base. And we'll hand in the gun. It might lead to an arrest."

"In what parallel universe?" McKay sneered. "He'll be right back on the street again the next week." The scientist turned to Ronon. "And you threw that knife right past my nose!"

"Better than in it." Ronon smirked at the staring - but impressed - man before craning his neck to check out the naval base as they approached. "This kind of thing happens often, then?"

"Not exactly."

"But often enough that Rodney is aware of what usually happens during a carjacking," Teyla said, sounding more amused than anything else.

"Yes, well..." Sheppard paused as though trying to find a suitable excuse

McKay chimed in. "Carjackings aren't that common. Actually, statistics show that you're more likely to get hit by a car in a pedestrian accident."

"I see." And Teyla sounded like she really _did_ see.

Sheppard sounded defensive. "Look, things like these just happen sometimes."

Teyla made a non-committal sound of the kind that was almost guaranteed to frustrate the pants off Sheppard. "So in this country that you say is the best--"

"Second-best," McKay interrupted.

"--country on Earth, people are held at gunpoint, have their belongings stolen, may get hit by a car while walking on the street, or suffocated with exhaust fumes while driving along the Beltway?"

"No!" There was a pause while Sheppard considered the absolute truth of his denial. "Not exactly."

Teyla made a sound that was suspiciously like stifled laughter.

Ronon just snorted. "And you guys think _Pegasus_ is dangerous."

- **fin** -


End file.
